Starting your first relationship
Today I wanted to talk about starting your first relationship. I have now been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half but when we first got together, I had never been in a relationship before. And honestly...it's really daunting! Think about making new friends and how nerve-wracking that can be but times it by 10 because being in a relationship is so much more.
I think you need to be happy within yourself before you think about starting a relationship. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself; not in a full-of-yourself kind of way, but just confidence-wise and just making sure that you're happy to always be yourself. I would say I was quite young to begin my long term relationship with Jacob; we got together when I was 17. Lots of people would say at the age I was, I wouldn't know myself properly and that I'm no where near an adult yet and that I don't know what I want but I did. I had seen people before and dated before, but I never really felt like I could be myself when I was with other people I was dating. I always felt like I had to be more reserved (I am quite a loud person) or not laugh as much (my laugh is awful, it's so loud and I hate it). This just shows though that they were definitely not right for me.
First dates can go either way. Luckily, ours went really well even though it was only a quick half an hour Costa date. Nowadays, it's all social media based and it's common to spend months talking to people through apps before you actually meet them in person for a date. This didn't happen with me and Jacob and I am so so glad about it because I just don't think you can get to know someone through a screen...months are wasted if you only speak through a phone. We met the day after we added each other on social media, it was luck that we were both in the town centre at the same time which enabled us to meet so soon. This then meant that we definitely did go through that awkward, not-knowing-what-to-talk-about stage at the beginning of the date. I guess that made it better though because we didn't know anything about each other and that gave us so much more to talk about.
The thing that made the date a success, I would say, is that I felt like I could completely be myself around him straight away. The fact that I hadn't created this persona online over a period of time meant that I didn't have to live up to any expectations. Maybe that's why everything went so well. So my piece of advise would definitely be to try and meet as soon as possible, it's better to create an opinion of a real person rather than someone online.
The next big step is then having to meet their family for the first time. If you have never 'met the parents' before, or even if you have, this experience is the scariest thing ever. Even though it's not completely true, it feels like it's the ultimate judgment day where their parents check that you are worthy enough to be with their child...or that's what you imagine it to be like. With Jacob's parents, it was completely the opposite. I love talking to new people anyway and don't find it as nerve-wracking as others may find it so I really enjoyed meeting them and having a chat with them so we could get to know each other. It was the first time I had ever 'met the parents' too so this was very new to me and it was difficult to know how to act. Like I said before, just be yourself though; I would rather not be liked for the person I really am than be liked for someone I'm not. Luckily, I think Jacob's family liked me and they still do!
I can't decide whether I was more nervous meeting Jacob's parents or for him to meet mine. I had never introduced anyone to my parents before, and you know what parents can be like, they are always out there to embarrass you the ultimate amount! To be fair, my parents were a lot less embarrassing than I was expecting. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is probably really nervous to meet your family, so let them have a chat with them when they initially meet as this will put them a lot more at ease.
Being in a relationship with Jacob is the best thing that's ever happened to me, we look back now at the memories of when we first got together and treasure them, so enjoy them while you're there, it will go in a flash.
Thanks for reading! Keep smiling and have a great day! Liv xxx
